Last week, Caroline had her first big road trip. Before this, she had only gone as far as northwest Arkansas to visit relations. As you can imagine, we were a bit concerned about how she would handle being in the car for 5+ hours. You have the normal worries of fussiness and boredom…and a few more unique worries like airway issues and feeding issues. I am happy to report Caroline was a real trooper and a delightful travel companion. We only had one emergency choking spell the entire trip to Dallas and back, so that's a huge victory. We headed out on our adventure Easter morning. My parents were already in Texas, but it was difficult being away from home and the rest of our family. Finally out of cold/flu season, we had planned to take Caroline to church for the first time, but as a parent, you do what you have to do…and this Dallas trip is definitely what we had to do. Although we missed our Easter Sunday traditions, my sister-in-law graciously did an Easter photo shoot for us. Yes, I know I have posted this on Facebook, but come on, it is way too precious to not post again.
My Sweet Caroline. Oh, how about one more...
"What's that? You say He is risen?"
So, why Dallas? You may remember a post a couple months ago about the passing of our beloved Dr. Honnebier, our amazing craniofacial surgeon. Well, our first emotion was sadness and the next was anxiety. What were we going to do for Caroline? You may also remember some new neurological concerns and the uncertainty surrounding if and how her neurosurgeon would treat them. So, we did what any parent would do in our situation. We researched. A lot. We talked to other parents and everything kept pointing to this team in Dallas. We made the phone calls, completed paperwork, sent records, and finally had confirmed appointments to meet these specialists. Although we were really excited and hopeful, we were also scared out of our minds. I'm a creature of habit. I like my routine. I like eating the same things, and am totally thrown if Kroger is out of my favorite coffee blend. For the past year, ACH has been our home away from home. Only an hour from home and we know where to find the best coffee, the cleanest restrooms, and the quietest waiting areas. But, oftentimes, the best thing isn't always the most convenient or comfortable. We are once again exercising our trust muscles. As we have been studying the life of Moses this year in Bible Study Fellowship, I tend to relate their journey to Canaan to our journey of finding the very best treatment and healing for Caroline. As they traveled to this new land that God promised them, they faced giant doubts and fears, and sometimes, they succumbed to them. The night before our first appointment, I asked you to pray for peace and discernment. Thank you for faithfully praying. I can assure you each prayer is felt and appreciated more than I can express. We first met with Dr. Fearon, our new craniofacial surgeon and we had such a positive visit. Much was discussed but one thing he said that I will never forget is, "I expect Caroline to grow up to be very normal and very beautiful." These are words we have never heard from a doctor. These simple words affirm what I hope and dream for her and really, how I see my daughter. The next day we met with the neurosurgeon and received both good news and some uncertainty. The thing is, I can never become too comfortable with relying on the wisdom of man. Although we feel we have the best team of surgeons working on her behalf, I ultimately have to trust Caroline's life into the Hands of God. In this new land, we still face giants and fears, but we do have this peace and assurance that we are on our way to healing.
So, what's next for Caroline? We have our next surgery May 8th- palate repair. It's a big one, as all surgeries are when performed on your child. It will be a tough recovery but this big surgery will also usher in some big changes. This will vastly improve her quality of life. Once she is healed up, she will finally be able to eat foods besides purees and will be able to make more sounds. Currently, she tries so hard to talk, but can only make breathy sounds like "hi." You know that my heart is aching to hear "mama" for the first time. Then, she will have skull reconstructive surgery in the fall. A shunt is still up in the air. The neurosurgeon does believe she will need one at some point, but we do not yet know when that point will be. Again, this is where that trust muscle is stretched. Thank you for riding, stretching, and praying with us. Lastly, when you get a chance, would you listen to this song? Our pastor introduced us to this song one Sunday, and it has become a favorite. I can't listen to it without crying. It reminds me to have faith along this journey and know that it is so very temporary.
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