The First Year

It's officially Birthday Week, also known as, "Punky Palooza!" We are kicking off the festivities with a look back at the past year. Since that fateful ultrasound, December 16, 2013, we have been told many times that she likely would not live to celebrate this milestone. We have time and time again prepared ourselves for the worst and time and time again, Caroline surprises us. Before taking a look at the images of the past year, I just want to share some things we have learned.

1. It's ok to be angry. 

2. Everyone has battles and scars. 

3. God is still good. 

All your life you are taught not to question authority, especially that of God. However, through the questioning, crying, and screaming, I would say that He and I are closer. There is an authenticity to our relationship that hasn't been there before. I would like to share something a kind chaplain told us before one of her surgeries. Josh and I had visited with him a few times, so we felt comfortable sharing our frustrations and confusion. Then, of course, we start backpedaling. When you spend time at hospitals, it becomes very clear that there are others with seemingly heavier loads to bear. Then, the chaplain did something surprising. He didn't remind us to be thankful for what God had given us. No. He stopped us right there and said, "Don't ever minimize your trials. It is ok to question God and be angry." He then shared with us that his youngest daughter has special needs and will always require constant care. He spoke with sincerity and hurt when he said, "I will never, ever understand why He allowed this. He did not cause it but He allowed it…and yet, I know He is good. 

The purpose of documenting our journey was never to garner sympathy or make you feel your trials are less. Everyone has a battle and scars- some inward, some outward. Don't minimize your battle or your child's battle. I hope you feel empowered to get angry sometimes, but please, know that He is still good.  

As promised, I have pictures to share, but don't worry, not all 268 of them. It was so difficult to pour over these memories and select which ones to share. We want this video to give you a glimpse of the mountains she has climbed, but mostly, we want these images to show you her indomitable spirit and the immense joy she exudes in spite of her circumstances. We hope when you watch it, that it makes you smile.