Spring and New Beginnings

Spring has sprung! Sunny daffodils now line my drive. The Bradford pear and saucer magnolia trees in  the backyard are in full bloom. Ah, my yard has life again! When I look out my window, I still see barren branches and mostly brown grass, but I also see flecks of color and signs of life. Spring is probably my favorite season. Well, when fall comes around giving a little relief from the unbearable humidity and heat of an Arkansas summer, I flip-flop like a politician…but right now, spring definitely has my heart. It's a reminder that He creates life from dormancy transforming even the dreariest landscape. Indeed, He makes all things new. I've heard it said that there has to be a winter in order to truly appreciate spring. While I would still be fine living in a climate of perpetual spring, I can assure you there is truth in that statement. While, some days, things still look a bit dreary at first glance, I can think back to last summer when we were experiencing some truly bleak, winter days and gain a fresh perspective. Now, I gaze out at our circumstances and I can see buds of colorful hope springing up from darkness.

Last week, Caroline saw her pediatrician for her last RSV shot (Hal-le-lu-yer!) We weighed her but then she started choking a bit so I asked that we not lay her flat for them to measure her length. We weren't there for a check-up anyway so I reasoned a length wasn't that vital. Well, Dr. B comes in and says, "I need a length on her." Now, she and her nurses are excellent and very accommodating so they figured out a way to measure her without having to lay her flat- thanks, ladies.  I still asked why she needed a length. Her response- it still floors me- "Because Caroline has gained quite a bit of weight since last time and I need to make sure she's not getting fat." My jaw might have come close to hitting the ground. See, if you had told me last summer that there would ever be concern of Caroline "getting fat," I would have told you to lay off the crazy sauce.

My baby, who entered the world blue as a smurf.
My baby, who didn't receive any milk for the first 3 days of life.
My baby, who relied on a feeding tube for nearly a month.
My baby, who couldn't drink an ounce without choking.
My baby, who couldn't breathe out of her nose.
My baby, who has been through 10 surgeries.
My baby, who battles severe reflux.
My baby, the fighter, who has every reason in the world not to thrive, is growing and surpassing limits and expectations.
My baby, caused concern for "getting fat" and I could not be prouder.

Well, it turns out, Caroline is right at the 75th percentile on the growth charts for weight and length! In my former life as a dietitian, I spent a lot of time looking at growth charts and helping parents keep their children on a healthy curve. I had planned on battling texture aversions and feeding difficulties alongside her to just keep her on the chart and, honestly, was hopeful for somewhere around the 10th-25th percentile. How she delights in proving me wrong. So, what else has Caroline been up to besides eating? Well, she's going through this stage of clingy-ness. Caroline has always been a very attached baby, but this is a whole 'nother level of attached…like, I think she would be perfectly content if she were physically attached to my hip via velcro. I'm ashamed to admit I have felt a bit put out.  Why won't she just sleep 4 consecutive hours at night? Why won't she just let me set her in her busy seat so I can shower? Why does she act like the highchair and stroller are now torture chambers? Then, I think about last May when I wasn't allowed to hold her and how I would have done anything for the chance to rock her to sleep. I think about all of those studies I read while I was pregnant and worried how or if she would bond with me. Well, like I said, Caroline loves to take my fears and plans and prove me so very wrong.

Yes, I am thankful for spring and this little bud who keeps growing and blossoming despite the odds.