"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great."
- Jimmy Dugan (A League of Their Own)
Those wise words pretty much sum up our life, especially the past several weeks. I apologize for my lack of updates. Again, it is a really good thing I'm not trying to make a career out of this blogging business. The silence here isn't due to lack of news. On the contrary, big, great things have been going on around here. I've just been feeling a little burned out lately. I'm still trying to make sense of why our family was picked to board this ride. I read others' blogs and am amazed by their sunny perspectives, wisdom, and random, useful information on how to best organize your entire life with labeled wicker baskets. I worry that my lack of profound answers and helpful decorating tips will disappoint. Then, I'm reminded that this is all about Caroline. I owe it to you, her champion, to let you know how your prayers are impacting our lives. So, I hope you will forgive my absence and continue riding with us. I can't guarantee answers or recipes, but we'll have fun watching Caroline thrive.
So, another reason I have been slacking on updates....I am busy chasing a little person around all day!
Yes, you read that right. Caroline is now mobile! At 16 months old, she has learned to crawl and scoot all over the house...and she's getting pretty fast, too. She is busy exploring the world around her. Now when I open a cabinet in the kitchen, it's not unusual to find a block or rubber duck sitting in a mixing bowl. Her way of saying, "Caroline was here." Do people still do that? Surely not.
Anyway, Caroline is enjoying her newfound independence and I have to say my body is thankful as well. Amazingly, Caroline's appetite and ability to eat have not been impacted by all of her surgeries, so she was getting a bit heavy to be carrying around all day, you know?
We started physical, occupational, and developmental therapies in August and it is amazing how much Caroline has progressed. It was really hard those first few sessions and some days it is still really hard. She still has trust issues with unfamiliar people and situations. Some days she starts crying as soon as she sees the therapist pull up the driveway. Today was actually one of those hard days- filled with crying, screaming, I'm-not-gonna-do-it-you-can''t-make-me meltdown, raw emotion. Thankfully, we are blessed with the best therapists. Seriously. We got the best by the grace of God. They each love Caroline and pray for Caroline and take time to encourage me too. It's hard seeing her so upset and frightened. She reaches her arms out to me, confused why I'm not swooping in to "fix" it. Those days, I say to God, "what's the point?"
Then, I get to see the gleam in her eyes when she's figured out she's just done something amazing. I get to see the joy in her smile when she races me down the hall. I get to hear her laugh when she "hides" from me in the laundry room and I walk by and act like I can't find her.
These things are what make the hard, almost unbearable moments, worth it. It's not that I wouldn't be excited if she met milestones easily, but when you watch her work so hard to overcome those expectations placed on her at birth, man, it makes these moments that much greater. Like Jimmy says, "the hard is what makes it great."
